Her Weight Gain – But It's All My Fault

As crazy as this title may seem to you this is the life my wife and I lived for almost three years. After hearing from her that the reason she had gain weight and couldn’t lose it was because of me I actually started believing it.

You know, I knew better but when you start hearing something over and over again you start to believe it even when you shouldn’t.

It all started just before we were engaged and my wife (girlfriend at the time) was starting to put on some weight.  At first things were cool because she could still fit into her clothes and will no one else had made one of those crazy comments like “when is the baby due or OMG your pregnant”.  That all changed in a matter of weeks though.

The clothes that went from fitting correctly to fitting a little snug where now it was just simply un-wearable. No matter what no one was making any statements and all of her girlfriends told her she look great and there wasn’t anything to worry about (most of them gaining weight themselves).

They told her it was the process of her getting older and now having a future husband that she cooks for.  It happens to all of them and they kind of just believed it.

Three months went by and my wife went from being around 125lbs to 145lbs and it was all downhill from there. Unlike myself when I gained weight in the past I would be quick to try to lose it to get back to my ideal weight my wife was the complete opposite.  The weight only went upwards from there and the problems really started.

One evening after work I can remember my wife coming home and she was just unhappy.  The conversation went immediately on everything else but I knew that it was the weight that was causing the problem.

I don’t like beating around the bush so I just came out and said, “You are just unhappy because you are getting fat!” Big mistake!  All hell broke loose in that house and amazingly everything was aimed at me.

From me having too much junk food in the house to her having to cook, as being the reason she was gaining weight in the first place.  “Everyone else tells me how great I look and you just say stop eating this or that! It’s your fault you should be more supportive and love me for who I am!” (ooooouch that hurts even to write).  This went on for months to the point that I was getting blame for everything, nothing was her fault.

The thing is though she went out to lunch every day, went to dinner once or twice a week, was eating dinner at home every night, ate breakfast and grabbed fast foods and most of all was not active.

You see these weren’t things that I caused but rather her life had completely changed.  She was no longer in college so she wasn’t as active as she used to be.  She was working the 8-6 instead of going to classes and now was getting breakfast at work and going to lunch almost every day.

See these were the changes that were causing her to gain the weight NOT me!  It wasn’t the fact that I ate too much but the fact that she didn’t want to blame herself or situation for getting fat.  And her friends didn’t see anything wrong with it because guess what, they were getting fat as well.

Her weight gain wasn’t may fault at all but since it occurred when WE became one in her eyes I caused it.  It didn’t matter that I stopped having with all the snacks in the house, stopped going out to get fast food, or even started working out and running with her.  Why because she didn’t lose weight and those weren’t the actual problems to begin with.

The problems were the things that she had control of and things she had to change on her own.  It wouldn’t be until she realized that she needed to make a change in herself and be accountable that things would change for the better.  It wouldn’t change until she understood that eating out every day at lunch and going out for drinks and dinner with the girls can cause rapid weight gain.

HER WEIGHT GAIN WAS HER FAULT NOT MINE!